Not My Will

Not My WillConsidering the circumstances, we really dont feel its safe for you to remain in the country any longer. What would you think about returning home and serving a service mission? I was speechless. No! I cried, gripping the sides of my chair. The Lord has called me to serve in Chile, and Im only halfway done! Im not going home, even if it kills me! Hermana Abalos gave a nervous laugh, but a look of fear flashed in her eyes. Why cant I get across to you,

ÒConsidering the circumstances, we really donÕt feel itÕs safe for you to remain in the country any longer. What would you think about returning home and serving a service mission?Ó

I was speechless. ÒNo!Ó I cried, gripping the sides of my chair. ÒThe Lord has called me to serve in Chile, and IÕm only halfway done! IÕm not going home, even if it kills me!Ó

Hermana Abalos gave a nervous laugh, but a look of fear flashed in her eyes. ÒWhy canÕt I get across to you, Elder Jensen? ThatÕs exactly our fear! What if this is the LordÕs will, Elder?Ó

My mind raced, and the tears flowed harder. Was it possible that God wanted me to go home? No. I wouldnÕt believe it. ÒAre you even giving me a choice?Ó

Hermana Abalos huffed. ÒForcing you to go home against your will would almost certainly make matters worse. Yet in your current state, my conscience wonÕt let me recommend to the Mission President that you stay. ButÉ if you agree to try taking an antidepressant, we might just consider letting you stay a little longer.Ó