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کہین و مہین | Khaeen O Miheen | Dr Abdul Muhaimin
کالم نگاری بیک وقت اپنے اندر بہت کچھ سموئے ہوتی ہے، یہ صحافت و ادب بھی ہے اور حکایت و داستاں سرائی بھی ، اور اس میں تقریر و خطابت بھی شامل ہے، کالم نگار کا قلم کبھی شبنم برساتا ہے اور کبھی شعلے، یہ بھی تو معاشرے کے ناسور پر نشتر لگاتا ہے اور کبھی دلوں پر مرہم رکھتا ہے، کالم نگاری ایک ایسا فن ہے جو ایک بڑی ذمہ داری بھی ہے، ڈاکٹر عبدا ھیمن کی کالم نگاری بلاشبہ ان تمام اوصاف سے مزین ہے، آپ کی ہر تحریر قاری کو ایک طرف تسکین کا سامان مہیا کرتی ہے تو دوسری طرف اسے کسی نئی منزل کی راہ پر ڈال دیتی ہے، ان کا تحریر اور تقریر کا انداز ہم عصر لکھاریوں سے منفرد ہے، ادب برائے زندگی کے فلسفہ پر کامل یقین رکھتے ہوئے ڈاکٹر تھیمن اپنی تحریر اور تقریر سے قارئین و سامعین کو ایک ایسی دنیا میں لے جاتے ہیں جس میں انسان محبت کی فضاء میں بستا ہو اور اس کے سامنے کوئی رکاوٹ نہ ہو، ڈاکٹر ھیمن سچے دل کے ساتھ لفظوں کے موتی پروتے ہیں، وہ ایک مخلص انسان ہیں، دکھی لوگوں کے درد کو زبان دیتے ہیں، وہ صرف لکھتے نہیں بلکہ اپنے قلم اور ہاتھوں سے دکھی انسانیت کے دکھ درد کم کرنے میں مصروف رہتے ہیں، خالق کا ئنات ہر دور میں ایسے قابل ادیب، لکھاری، فلاسفہ اور حکیم بھیجتا ہے جو بھٹکے لوگوں کو راہ راست پر لانے کی تگ و دو میں لگے رہتے ہیں، ہمارے عہد میں ڈاکٹر ھیمن ان عظیم لوگوں میں سے ایک ہیں، ڈاکٹر عبدالمین کی کتاب کہین و مہین ایک بہترین کتاب ہے جو ہماری طلب کو ختم نہیں کرتی بلکہ اس کو مزید بڑھاتی ہے، اللہ کرے مرحلہ شوق نہ ہو ئے۔
پروفیسر ملک ناصر داؤد
پرنسپل گورنمنٹ ڈگری کالج شیروان، ایبٹ آباد
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4.3 ★★★★★
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Wonderful
Format: Paperback
This should be mandatory for all people who are dating or want to get married. This will guide you through everything you will go through in a marriage.
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Reviewed in the United States on December 27, 2025
★★★★★ 5
Best Book on Improving Communication in Relationships
Format: Paperback
Such a helpful book, with concrete tips for improving communication in relationships. I find myself returning to this book whenever things become challenging in a relationship. I also attended a retreat based on the book’s teachings. Incredibly helpful.
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Reviewed in the United States on July 23, 2025
★★★★★ 3
Interesting, but not empirically validated, and written explicitly for straight people (why?!)
Format: Kindle
This one’s the 500-pound gorilla of the healthy-couple self-help genre, with thirty years in print, scores of Oprah appearances by the authors, thousands of therapists practicing the Imago framework.
The main thing that I need to tell you about this updated edition, from the year 2019, is that it does not mention or acknowledge the existence of queer or same-sex couples even one time. In fact, it really doubles down on the husband and wife stuff, takes gender roles pretty seriously, which is not a thing I realized we did anymore, except as a joke. Anyway, talking only to straight people is not too relevant to my interests, and while the conservative Christian viewpoint is pretty subtle in the advertising, just be aware of that PROBABLY NOT ACCIDENTAL omission going in, queer friends.
(This is made even more impressive by the fact that the heart of the Imago approach is based on childhood trauma, about the ways in which our parents caused us to suppress or hide or ignore parts of ourselves in order to be accepted and loved. Just let that sink in, because I’ve been reading this book for the past week and I am still reeling from the irony that people who have been thinking for the past three decades about the ways that parents cause trauma to kids by failing to accept parts of them have missed the VERY OBVIOUS AND RELEVANT EXAMPLE of queer folks.)
That aside, for me the book was a mixed-bag of some interesting and provocative ideas (I’d put these in the category of poetic notions, or interesting narrative ideas), alongside some really kooky 20th century neo-Freudian stuff (rooted in part in Freud’s theory of repetition compulsion.) I’m no fan of Freudian approaches, and after I started this book, I decided to see how empirically-validated this Imago approach is: based on what I found, there seems to be basically no evidence that this therapy is effective.
Am I glad I read it? I think so?? It was thought-provoking, with the pretty significant grain of salt that there’s not much evidence to support that Imago therapy is much better than doing nothing at all. Also, I feel a little gross giving my money to relationship experts who (in 2019!!)) won’t even acknowledge the existence of queer people, even when doing so would obviously strengthen their core arguments and provide better examples than some of the meek ones they give.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 18, 2021
★★★★★ 5
Great book!
Format: Paperback
I read this once through on my own and picked up a lot of great wisdom. Now my spouse are reading it together so we can answer the questions together. I'm excited for thought provoking discussions on raising our future child.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 4, 2020
★★★★★ 5
Now you know (some of) what you don't know
Format: Kindle
As I'm ready to embark on parenthood, I truly appreciated the insights offered by these parents. The learning has given me more confidence and preparation in managing expectations, handling difficult situations and being the ideal parent.
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Reviewed in the United States on February 12, 2019