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Description
Black Helium: Primitive Fuck - VINYL LPTitle: Primitive Fuck Artist: Black Helium Label: Riot Season Product Type: VINYL LP UPC: 666017325019 Genre: Rock Release Date: 2018 08 31 Number of Discs: 1 Black Helium are a four piece that formed in 2016 for a special one off Halloween gig at the notoriously heady Guild Navigator club in East London and have since spread their sonic gumbo of hard edged psychedelic head fuckery and Neanderthal glam rock swagger across the country. Heavy friends
Title: Primitive FuckArtist: Black Helium
Label: Riot Season
Product Type: VINYL LP
UPC: 666017325019
Genre: Rock
Release Date: 2018-08-31
Number of Discs: 1
Black Helium are a four-piece that formed in 2016 for a special one-off Halloween gig at the notoriously heady Guild Navigator club in East London and have since spread their sonic gumbo of hard-edged psychedelic head-fuckery and Neanderthal glam rock swagger across the country. Heavy friends Stuart Gray (vocals, guitar), Beck Harvey (vocals, bass) Davey Mulka (guitar), and Ben Davies (drums) went on to record their debut, Primitive Fuck, at Hermitage Studios with Margo Broom in March 2017. Although, Ben Davies disappeared abruptly after recording his drum tracks after experiencing a "profound life-changing mystical occurrence". Influenced by bands such as Black Sabbath, Hawkwind, Amon Düül II, and The Stooges, Primitive Fuck channels an era when psychedelic rock stood for mind expanding eclecticism and hip-shaking sonic hedonism in equal measure, moving from motor city heroism, to shapeless kosmische, ambient ego-death via space ritual riff worship. Now, with new drummer, Diogo Gomes on board, Primitive Fuck represents the birth of a band your psychiatrist warned you about. "An absolutely epic fucking performance from Black Helium who were heavy as fuck and destroyed my already fragile mind with their Flying V twin attack sounding like Sabbath, Black Angels, Hawkwind and The Sweet battling in a monster riff shop." -Spencer Hickman (Death Waltz Records, Transmission Records) Full color sleeve with insert; Includes download code; Edition of 300.
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4.8 ★★★★★
Based on 14 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Good purchase
Size: 9.5, Color: Black
Value and quality was good
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Reviewed in the United States on May 16, 2026
★★★★★ 5
The "Lazy Professional" Look: Is Hands-Free Luxury Actually Real?
Size: 9.5, Color: Black Napa Leather
Living down here in Florida, my footwear needs are pretty specific. It’s hot, it’s humid, and I spent half my life rushing from the car into work or a meeting. I’ve reached that age where I value efficiency just as much as style—maybe more. I’ve been eyeing the Marc Joseph New York Hands-Free Slip-on Penny Loafers for a while, and after putting them through the wringer, here is the honest truth from someone who just wants to look sharp without the hassle.
The "Just Step-In" Reality
Look, the big selling point here is the "Hands-Free" tech. We’ve all seen the commercials for those athletic slip-ins, but finding that in a legitimate leather penny loafer is a different game. Does it work? Yes, surprisingly well. The heel counter is firm enough that it doesn’t collapse when you slide your foot in, but it doesn’t feel like a piece of plastic digging into your Achilles once you’re in. For those of us who are tired of bending over or hunting for a shoehorn every morning, this is a genuine quality-of-life upgrade.
The Florida Factor: Comfort and Style
The leather is actual calfskin (on most models), which is a must for the Florida heat. Synthetic shoes turn into a sauna within ten minutes, but these breathe reasonably well. The aesthetic is classic—it’s a "professor" shoe through and through. You can wear them with chinos and a blazer for work or throw them on with some nice jeans for a weekend lunch.
Inside, they’ve got a gel heel insert and a padded footbed. It’s not quite "walking on a cloud"—let’s not over-hype it—but it’s a massive step up from the hard, flat soles of traditional dress loafers. I’ve spent four hours on my feet lecturing, and my arches didn’t hate me by the end of the day.
The Sizing Gamble
Here’s where you need to be careful. The consensus from other guys (and my own experience) is that the sizing is a bit of a coin toss. They tend to run a little large and sometimes wide. If you have narrow feet, you might find the sides "gaping" or flaring out when you walk, which kills the sleek look. I’d recommend ordering a half-size down if you’re usually between sizes.
The Breakdown
The Pros:
True Hands-Free: You can actually put these on while holding a coffee and a briefcase. No hands needed.
Legit Materials: The calf leather feels premium and smells like the real deal.
Versatility: Perfectly bridges the gap between a "car shoe" and a formal loafer.
Comfort: The gel insert makes a noticeable difference for long-duration wear.
The Cons:
Sizing Inconsistency: They can run wide, leading to some "heel slip" if you don't get the perfect fit.
Break-in Period: The heel is stiff by design (to allow for the slip-on feature), so expect a day or two of minor stiffness.
Price Point: They aren't cheap, though often on sale.
Value for Money
Are they worth it? If you’re comparing them to high-end Italian brands that cost $500, these are an absolute steal. They look 90% as good for a fraction of the price. However, if you're used to $60 mall shoes, the jump to $150+ might feel steep until you realize you’re paying for the convenience of never having to touch your shoes to put them on. For a daily driver in a professional setting, the value is definitely there.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 10, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Step In Look Good
Size: 11.5, Color: Cognac Napa Leather
I am wearing these shoes as I write this review, and they look and feel great. I have a bit of a disability with drop foot on the right leg and bilateral neuropathy and have been wearing step in shoes for about 10 years. But the first company that introduced leather dress and casual shoes stopped making them and now only makes sport and casual shoes. So I have been searching for some that meet my need for shoes like this and this company has given me three pairs, so far. Easy to get into, comfortable to wear, and good looking. And they take polish very well, too. (Remember how to do that?). We may buy another pair or two in different styles as well.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 26, 2026
★★★★★ 4
Runs tight. Skinny and smaller than other brands.
Size: 8.5, Color: Brown
Comfy and lots of support. Cushiony. Beware: the brown I ordered runs small. Tighter than other brands.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 23, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Right Decision
Size: 12 Wide, Color: Cognac Napa Leather
Very comfortable. Classic style.
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Reviewed in the United States on June 11, 2026