SKU: 13772389663

She Left Me the Gun

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She Left Me the GunBy: Emma Brockes "One of those memoirs that remind you why you liked memoirs in the first place It has the density of a very good novel As you do with the best writers, you feel lucky to be in Ms. Brockess company." Dwight Garner, The New York Times A chilling work of psychological suspense and forensic memoir, She Left Me the Gun is a tale of true transformation: the story of a young woman who reinvented herself so completely that her previous life

By: Emma Brockes     
"One of those memoirs that remind you why you liked memoirs in the first place... It has the density of a very good novel... As you do with the best writers, you feel lucky to be in Ms. Brockes’s company." --Dwight Garner, The New York Times

A chilling work of psychological suspense and forensic memoir, She Left Me the Gun is a tale of true transformation: the story of a young woman who reinvented herself so completely that her previous life seemed simply to vanish, and of a daughter who transcends her mother’s fears and reclaims an abandoned past.

“One day I will tell you the story of my life,” promises Emma Brockes’s mother, “and you will be amazed.” Brockes grew up hearing only pieces of her mother’s past—stories of a rustic childhood in South Africa, glimpses of a bohemian youth in London—and yet knew that crucial facts were still in the dark. A mystery to her friends and family, Paula was clearly a strong, self-invented woman; glamorous, no-nonsense, and frequently out of place in their quaint English village. In awe of Paula’s larger-than-life personality, Brockes never asked why her mother emigrated to England or why she never returned to South Africa; never questioned the source of her mother’s strange fears or tremendous strengths.

Looking to unearth the truth after Paula’s death, Brockes begins a dangerous journey into the land—and the life—her mother fled from years before. Brockes soon learns that Paula’s father was a drunk megalomaniac who terrorized Paula and her seven half-siblings for years. After finally mustering the courage to take her father to court, Paula is horrified to see the malevolent man vindicated of all charges. As Brockes discovers, this crushing defeat left Paula with a choice: take her own life, or promise herself never to be intimidated or unhappy again. Ultimately she chooses life and happiness by booking one-way passage to London—but not before shooting her father five times, and failing to kill him. Smuggling the fateful gun through English customs would be Paula’s first triumph in her new life.

She Left Me the Gun carries Brockes to South Africa to meet her seven aunts and uncles, weighing their stories against her mother’s silences. Brockes learns of the violent pathologies and racial propaganda in which her grandfather was inculcated, sees the mine shafts and train yards where he worked as an itinerant mechanic, and finds in buried government archives the court records proving his murder conviction years before he first married. Brockes also learns of the turncoat stepmother who may have perjured herself to save her husband, dooming Paula and her siblings to the machinations of their hated father.

Most of all, She Left Me the Gun reveals how Paula reinvented herself to lead a full, happy life. As she follows her mother’s footsteps back to South Africa, Brockes begins to find the wellsprings of her mother’s strength, the tremendous endurance which allowed Paula to hide secrets from even her closest friends and family. But as the search through cherished letters and buried documents deepens, Brockes realizes with horror that her mother’s great success as a parent was concealing her terrible past—and that unearthing these secrets threatens to undo her mother’s work.

A beguiling and unforgettable journey across generations and continents, She Left Me the Gun chronicles Brockes’s efforts to walk the knife-edge between understanding her mother’s unspeakable traumas and embracing the happiness she chose for her daughter.
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SKU: 13772389663

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Natrona Heights, US
★★★★★ 5
One of the few body sunscreens that doesn't trigger my sensory issues
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I have sensory sensitivities, so wearing sunscreen is usually a pretty unpleasant experience for me. I can't stand heavy textures, greasy finishes, or that sticky sunscreen feeling that seems to sit on top of the skin all day. I'm also bothered by mineral and matte sunscreens that dry my skin out. It's very hard to find a sunscreen as genuinely comfortable as this one is. I bought the Coola Sunblock Body Lotion because several reviews mentioned that it actually feels like a regular lotion once applied, but I honestly assumed it still wouldn't work for me. I was genuinely shocked the first time I used this. The texture feels silky and lightweight, absorbs quickly, and leaves my skin feeling soft rather than coated or oily. It really does wear more like a comfortable body lotion than a traditional sunscreen, and I don't notice any residue or oily feel at all, which is amazing. I also love that it's fragrance-free, which makes it even easier for me to tolerate, especially with sensitive skin and sensory issues. Coola Sunblock Body Lotion is one of the very few body sunscreens I've tried that I actually enjoy wearing, and it works perfectly. I am very fair and burn easily, but I had no burning or redness on my first outside day of the summer while wearing this. It's sunscreen that works and that I can actually wear with zero discomfort. Amazing.
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Deborah Felton
Houston, US
★★★★★ 5
Love the quality!
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Im 63, with fair and sensitive skin. I love this high strength sunscreen that isn't greasy and doesn't have added ingredients and perfumes that bother me and make me break out.
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Battle Creek, US
★★★★★ 5
Expensive, but worth it
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What's the best sunscreen? The sunscreen you'll use consistently. I like Coola because it feels like moisturizer, not sticky gross sunscreen. It's pricey, but I think you get what you pay for with Coola.
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Lake Worth, US
★★★★★ 4
Great sunscreen, but too pricey!
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I love COOLA products. They are a good substitute for my favorite sunscreens by Bare Republic - which was discontinued. Unfortunately COOLA products are very pricey. For that reason, I must use other brands where it makes sense. Trader Joe's spray sunscreen works very well and is $5.99. Coppertone Water Babies works for water sports. I'm saving my $28 COOLA lotion sunscreen for when I need a non greasy odor-free sunscreen, for example when I spend time in the sun followed by lunch out or shopping.
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Diane Allan
Alexandria, US
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Good stuff
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Not greasy. Goes on easily.
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Reviewed in the United States on December 31, 2025

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