SKU: 52035844720

自私的藝術:快樂有理,自私無罪!別再讓「過度妥協」控制你的餘生,美國心理學權威給無私好人的50個自救箴言

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自私的藝術:快樂有理,自私無罪!別再讓「過度妥協」控制你的餘生,美國心理學權威給無私好人的50個自救箴言SOP 502 2 50 23 12 10 David Seabury Build Your Own Future(How to Worry Successfully)(Adventures in Self Discovery)

作者:大衛.西伯里 | 譯者:李祐寧

     
       原來,光有愛是不夠的……你有足夠的智慧與自私嗎?
  在家庭、職場、愛情與人際關係中,
  為什麼那些「自私的人」過得更幸福?
 
  ★ 英文版上市旋即空降《紐約時報》暢銷榜冠軍
  ★ 長銷半世紀的心理自助經典,拯救了一整個世代「低潮的你」
 
  心理學家大衛‧西伯里,在經手上千個諮商案例後發現,人們最常遇到的生活困境、感情糾葛、家庭紛爭、人際關係,乃至於日積月累的壓力影響身體健康……所有問題的源頭,往往指向那個被人們誤解的「無私」精神,以及邪惡的自私。
 
  於是,西伯里決定致力推廣「自私的藝術」──他堅信拒絕別人的邪惡自私、捍衛自我的「良性自私」,才是人們能獲得幸福快樂的關鍵因素。
 
  ● 社交困擾讓你心好累?日復一日有禮貌、做人情、做面子,消耗掉你太多的能量?
  ● 面對需索無度的家人,是否還要繼續「善盡義務」?
  ● 你符合婚內失戀SOP嗎?「如果你愛我、你應該為了我、應該要做到……」
  ● 最親密的人是控制狂,只能無限妥協下去嗎?可是,「他們只是為你好……」
  ● 為什麼對工作、所愛之人付出了所有精力,大家還是不滿足?
 
  本書要教你練習「高尚的自私」,當他人對於你的時間、精力,與情緒,提出不合理的要求時,我們該如何說「不」?讀通了,你就能釋放長久以來受壓抑的真實自我,獲得前所未有的自由與喜悅──重點是毫不內疚!
 
  「你的自私程度夠高嗎?」
  「你的自私是良性,還是惡性的呢?」
  本書將提出應對、反擊,以及自我療癒的處方簽,你的餘生將因此過得更滋潤!
 
  ◎經常被誤解的良性自私:
  ● 選擇自己的職業。
  ● 選擇自己的婚姻伴侶。
  ● 選擇自己想要結交的朋友。
  ● 選擇自己的信仰。
  ● 找到最適合自己的環境。
  ● 運用自己的時間。
  ● 表現出最平常的反應。
  ● 保護自己的隱私。
  ● 決定自己的責任義務。
  ● 衡量自己的標準。
  ● 自己決定是非對錯的標準。
  ● 拒絕一切不正直的妥協。
 
  ◎ 邪惡自私的例子:
  ● 一面高喊著「自我犧牲」,卻一面展現出占有欲。
  ● 永無止盡地談著「否定自我」。
  ● 總是和別人講著該怎樣做才是「對所有人都好」。
  ● 將別人的義務轉嫁到你身上。
  ● 企圖透過別人的生命而活出自己的意志。
  ● 索求的比給予的多。
 
  書中50個真實案例,描寫的都是你我日常生活中一定會遭遇的困境,看他們如何憑藉作者所指引的「自私2大原則」,掙脫多年來無解的枷鎖,重獲新生,獲得內心的平靜與喜悅。
 
  當頭棒喝!《自私的藝術》精選金句──
  ●自私的藝術,是懂得如何滿足自己的需求。
  ●不願妥協,與妥協太多,兩者之間你只能擇一前進。
  ●當我們以委屈求全的態度生活並行動時,挫折只會如影隨形。
  ●光有愛是不夠的。愛需要它的好夥伴:智慧。
  ●擁有勇氣—─在麻煩開始前,就拒之於門外。
  ●唯有發自內心的自由,才是自由。
  ●唯有懂得保護自我魅力與趣味的人,才能帶給伴侶快樂。
  ●真正的聰明人不會去否認生活的不易,而是承認自己的不安。
  ●我們本能上知道,自己擁有快樂的權利。既然如此,何不接受天性給你的建議?
  ●關於愛,有一個基本法則:「做你自己─—無論何時何地。」
 
本書特色
 
  2大神奇公式,拋開內疚,享受人生!
  永遠不要讓自我妥協+不要自我滿足,贏回自我的生活主導權。
 
  50個邁向「無恥生活」的成功案例
  如果你做一件事的目的,只是為了取悅對方,你就應該拒絕去做。
 
  23個思維練習 × 12種避免犯下的錯誤 × 10大處理問題的原則
  想要好好被愛,不再害怕被人討厭,心理學家教你這樣練習。


作者

大衛‧西伯里(David Seabury)
 
  美國心理學界權威,作家與講師。在紐約執業期間,著有豐富數量的心理自助作品,以溫暖精闢的文字發揮影響力,致力於讓更多人擁有幸福的生活。包括:《開創自我的未來》(Build Your Own Future)、《與焦慮共處》(How to Worry Successfully)、《自我探索的冒險》(Adventures in Self-Discovery)等。
 
譯者
 
李祐寧
 
  畢業於政治大學新聞系,旅居海外,目前從事專職翻譯工作。譯作包含《像數學家一樣思考》、《甜與權力》、《行為投資金律》、《自私的藝術》、《波克夏大學》、《金融投機史》、《華爾街孤狼巴魯克》、《異常流行幻象與群眾瘋狂》、《跳痛的愛》等。
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SKU: 52035844720

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4.6 ★★★★★
Based on 26 reviews
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Sean
Whiting, US
★★★★★ 4
Fun, both heartwarming and heartbreaking
Format: Kindle
Only my second first person written selection, I am still getting used to that aspect, but unlike my first, I enjoyed that the story was told through both MCs. A great enemies to lovers, forced proximity, fated love etc, that resonated to me. There were some small twists that I could see coming, but also a few that I didn’t quite see until the characters were also seeing. Personally, I am more interested in the story than the spice, but with that said, it was well seasoned! I am kind of new to the spice world so I can’t say for sure how this would rate, but it definitely had some heat. I am very glad I happened across this author, and I do plan on also reading the next book….if nothing else, just to see for myself the “transformation” of the characters I’ve grown to love!
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Reviewed in the United States on May 23, 2024
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Havinne Akins
Louisville, US
★★★★★ 5
😍😍 BEST DEBUT NOVEL EVER
Format: Paperback
I’m having trouble finding accurate words to describe the way this book made me feel, but I am going to do my best. To start off with basic elements, the character and world building are phenomenal. I feel a strong bond to not only the two main characters, Ara and Rogue, but to each and every character introduced throughout the book. The author did a stellar job of giving each of them unique personhood. All of the scenes are beautifully described. So much so that throughout the entirety of the book, I could see every scene: the towns, the castles, the meadows, the landscape. I have had difficulty with this and with distinguishing between outlying characters while reading in the past, but I did not have to think to remember details of world or character building because they flowed naturally within the story and were described well. I have read book series before that made me want to be a part of that world, but I actually felt like I got to step into Auryna and Ravaryn! The plot twists!! Although this is not a suspense novel, it still had me on a rollercoaster of emotions and on the edge of my seat from beginning to end. I haven’t cried actual tears over a book since I was in high school (and I’ve read a LOT). This book finally broke the floodgates in the final few chapters. Multiple times. And we love a good cliffhanger. It truly made me FEEL. THE SPICE is a solid 3.5/5. Some of the scenes had me flushed, some had me taking notes, some just had my jaw slack and my mouth hanging open. Bravo, JD Linton, bravo. The relationships: friendships, family, romantic, ALL of the relationships in this book have so much meaning. The author does a great job at making you feel the love, the anger, the peace, the frustrations, the safety, the familiarity, etc. between the characters. Ara and Rogue. I can not say enough and I also do not want to say too much. Just know that I feel like I know them both, to their core. I know what their childhood looks likes, their darkest moments, their biggest fears, their dreams and passions, what they want in life… The POV switches were seamless. I am so happy this author decided to let us see from both sets of eyes. I can not wait for book two after that cliffhanger. And there is SO much potential for at least one prequel, I can’t wait to see where this author goes! I hope this series continues and flourishes. Fingers crossed!
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Reviewed in the United States on December 5, 2022
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Tracy and Christina
Grantham, US
★★★★★ 5
Amazing!
Format: Kindle, Format: Kindle
This book was phenomenal, I devoured it within a few days! For this being a debut novel, it is fantastic and I would’ve thought the author was a seasoned author. I have zero complaints about this book. Let me start by saying that the world building was phenomenal. I could picture everything in my head because of how detailed it was — that’s how good it was written. And I absolutely love the “captive/captor” trope so much, it’s become one of my favorite tropes, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that this book had that. I loved the banter between Rogue and Ara — they’re both snarky and witty, plus with the romantic tension, it made the dialogue that much better. Speaking of romantic tension, yes there is spice but not so much of it that it overrides the plot, which I loved. For me, this would probably be on the 3/5 level of spice. This book had a ton of plot twists and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 13, 2024
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R Spires
Alexandria, US
★★★★★ 4
High on Tropes and Satisfaction
Format: Kindle
This is a great Romantasy book full of action, adventure, and everything you look for in this genre. I won’t lie: it does kinda feel like the author found every common trope from every successful book of this kind and threw them all into this novel. But if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Especially in romance, there’s a large audience who has specific expectations, and they want them every time. Nothing wrong with that and many times I’m one of them. I have no idea what defines a spoiler honestly, so spoiler alert!!!!!!! Tropes include: Only one bed at the inn/bar Dissatisfaction with life before hunk appears Lost royalty The chosen one Montage of dress up time followed by shocked hunk Forbidden romance between two from rival peoples Power that cannot be controlled, simply guided/asked Gathering intel at the inn/bar FMC who knows how to fight/use weapons well There’s probably more but no need to list them all. Good story and I would recommend!
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Reviewed in the United States on June 14, 2024
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evelynn kate
Chelsea, US
★★★★★ 5
AMAZING debut novel!!!
Format: Kindle
Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Spice 🌶️🌶️.5 Romance 💘💘💘 Vibes ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Dual 1st person POV - Ara (26) & Rogue (39 - but looks mid-20s: they can live hundreds of years so this isn't that large of a gap as it could've been which I heavily appreciate lol) Tropes: enemies to lovers, fae/human wars (deep hatred for each other), shifters (dragons- MMC can only partial shift with wings), one horse, one bed, touch her and d!e, found family, abduction turned to freedom The Last Storm is the debut novel from JD Linton and let me tell you, you guys NEED to read this. The plot was engaging and the editing was was amazing (especially for a debut novel). Our FMC, Ara, is stuck in her gilded cage longing for a life outside of her small town. She uses her books to escape and live vicariously through the pages (honestly, relatable). After her father announces her betrothal to her childhood friend (to whom she has no romantic feelings for), Ara tumbles unknowingly into a desperate plot trying to stop the humans from slaughtering the Fae. As one can expect from an enemies to lovers / kidnapper/captive romance, Ara fights her attraction and lust towards our MMC, Rogue (the King of the Fae), for as long as she can. Upon seeing Ara for the first time, Rogue is instantly aware that she is his fated mate (not a spoiler). Since she is the General's only daughter, he plans to abduct her and use her as leverage to stop the brutality. During Ara's time in Rogue's captivity, their banter and chemistry continue to rise until they finally boil over and come together (quite literally, and many times I may add 😉). Here's what I LOVED: - Rogue continuously seeks advice from his elders and deeply respects their opinions and life experience and tries to implement their recommendations - Rogue makes many mistakes in the beginning but we see him actively work on not repeating them as the book progresses. The level of self-awareness and his ability to change his behavior was impressive - The magic system is intricate and we have only scraped the surface. As the series continues and Ara progresses in her powers, I'm sure we'll get to see more of this. I absolutely LOVE the messaging system that is used in this book. - Ara's struggles are so human and so raw. She is experiencing so much guilt and pain and hurt and getting to see her work through each of these emotions is inspiring. Especially as her and Rogue get closer and she learns she can lean on him as well, that she is not alone. - While this is the start of a series, there is NO cliffhanger! There's a bit of a teaser of something major that is going to happen at the start of the next book, but it's not a cliffhanger in the sense that we aren't sure if someone is going to live or d!e or if they'll be separated. For that, I am very thankful! This book was so much fun that I will definitely be returning to book 2, even if it takes several months (or longer since this is an debut author) to publish! - Lastly, the cover is GORGEOUS! And I love the title! I'll copy a few of my favorite quotes below so you can have a little taste of the author's writing and the world she's cultivated. 😊 Top Highlights from The Last Storm On days like this, when my heart was heavy and my mind clouded, I resorted to books— to escape, to forget, to find freedom where I had none. If I were to marry him, my face would always be turned to the window, searching for more, and if not that, I would be a shell of the person I am now. I stepped back to admire her, thr0bbing at the sight. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. To ever exist. Nothing, no one, had ever deserved to be worshiped more. All men should be made to kneel before her. But she would have to settle for me. The taste of her met my t0ngue as my scent merged with hers, forever branding her. Mine. I l!cked the wound. Hers. Completely and utterly hers. I didn’t claim her in ownership. I claimed her as my one. Devoted myself to one. With that mark, my body and soul were bound to her. I would never be with anyone else, emotionally or physically. It would be her or no one, until my last breath. “Scream my name. Let everyone know who I belong to.” I had never really cared about the weather before, but now, clear skies meant everything to me, and I was grateful to see another calm morning. “There will never be another woman for me.” He paused. “Ever.” I stilled at his words. “What… Why?” “This”— his thumb slid down across the mark—“ is a symbol of… surrender. I know you believe that it was my claim upon you, but it wasn’t. It never was. I bound my body and soul to you, little storm.” “I also know that it is more than this tiny, insignificant mark on your skin that binds me to you. It’s you. All of you. Your strength and resilience. Your determination to endure no matter what fate throws at you. Your love for love and stories and hope. You are entirely the opposite of everything that I am and I would gladly wear your shackles if it meant I could have you.” My mate. Mine. And then everything shifted and I understood. I understood everything. The surrender. The deep, soul-craving longing. Bound. I was bound to him. Body and soul. Entirely his. “I would’ve waited forever,” he whispered back, understanding. Seriously, everyone.. add this to your TBR!!
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Reviewed in the United States on November 14, 2022

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