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Negotiating the NonnegotiableBy: Daniel Shapiro One of the most important books of our modern era Amb. Jaime de Bourbon For anyone struggling with conflict, this book can transform you. Negotiating the Nonnegotiable takes you on a journey into the heart and soul of conflict, providing unique insight into the emotional undercurrents that too often sweep us out to sea. With vivid stories of his closed door sessions with warring political groups, disputing businesspeople, and
By: Daniel Shapiro“One of the most important books of our modern era” –Amb. Jaime de Bourbon
For anyone struggling with conflict, this book can transform you. Negotiating the Nonnegotiable takes you on a journey into the heart and soul of conflict, providing unique insight into the emotional undercurrents that too often sweep us out to sea. With vivid stories of his closed-door sessions with warring political groups, disputing businesspeople, and families in crisis, Daniel Shapiro presents a universally applicable method to successfully navigate conflict. A deep, provocative book to reflect on and wrestle with, this book can change your life.
Be warned: This book is not a quick fix. Real change takes work. You will learn how to master five emotional dynamics that can sabotage conflict outside your awareness:
1. Vertigo: How can you avoid getting emotionally consumed in conflict?
2. Repetition compulsion: How can you stop repeating the same conflicts again and again?
3. Taboos: How can you discuss sensitive issues at the heart of the conflict?
4. Assault on the sacred: What should you do if your values feel threatened?
5. Identity politics: What can you do if others use politics against you?
In our era of discontent, this is just the book we need to resolve conflict in our own lives and in the world around us.
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4.1 ★★★★★
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Great for history buff
Format: Paperback
My 13 yr old loves learning about history. This should be a book he enjoys.
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Reviewed in the United States on December 29, 2023
★★★★★ 3
Letras grandes
Format: Paperback
Lettas muy prwueñas
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Reviewed in the United States on March 16, 2026
★★★★★ 5
An excellent guide to WWII.
Format: Paperback
My grandson just loved it!!
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Reviewed in the United States on January 1, 2017
★★★★★ 5
Great book!
Format: Paperback
Great book, very informative
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Reviewed in the United States on January 22, 2017
★★★★★ 5
Excellent Handbook!
Format: Paperback
This is a great book for anyone from beginner to seasoned activist. Kazu Haga breaks down Kingian Nonviolence and other justice and healing modalities in a way that makes them very accessible to a wide array of readers. I plan to give this to several elder activists - and my 14 year old niece.
Haga breaks down the Six Principles of Kingian Nonviolence, Restorative Justice/Practices (RP), separates & defines four types of conflict as well as other clarifying enumerations of large concepts. As an RP practitioner, I found his handling of restorative work to be excellent, and I found the Kingian principles revelatory and beautiful.
Kingian Nonviolence dispels the myth that nonviolence is passivity "Nonviolence is not about what not to do. It is about what you are going to do", and has clear steps toward justice and conflict work that have proven efficacy. Haga's handling of nuance and contradiction is unique and powerful, as well as his personal approach to understanding alternate perspectives (listening to right wing radio on regular basis - with an open mind -for instance). More than one thing can be true at the same time, we can expand to hold contradiction, and still seek accountability and healing.
The clarity of why shaming and punishment doesn't work for preventing future harm, or healing harm that has occurred is present not only in the concepts in the book, but his personal experience via years of offering trainings in prisons. There is still a lot of resistance to RP and nonviolent approaches to harm - especially in Law Enforcement and Corrections, and I think the accessibility and clarity in this book are useful to help naysayers possibly see the light of why these healing and justice practices ultimately protect us all.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 26, 2020