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To Those Who Have Confused You to Be a PersonBy: Alia Dastagir An urgently needed reckoning with the harm, harassment, and abuse women face on the Internet, complicating how we think about violence online and featuring deep reporting on how women are surviving the traumaby an award winning reporter When Alia Dastagir published a story for USA Today as part of an investigation into child sexual abuse, she became the target of an online mob launched by QAnon and encouraged by Donald Trump, Jr.
By: Alia DastagirAn urgently needed reckoning with the harm, harassment, and abuse women face on the Internet, complicating how we think about violence online and featuring deep reporting on how women are surviving the trauma—by an award-winning reporter
When Alia Dastagir published a story for USA Today as part of an investigation into child sexual abuse, she became the target of an online mob launched by QAnon and encouraged by Donald Trump, Jr. While female journalists, politicians, academics, and influencers receive a disproportionate amount of online attacks because of the nature of their professions, all women online experience hate, creating profound harms for individual women and society.
In To Those Who Have Confused You to Be a Person, Dastagir uses critical analysis from psychologists, sociologists, neuroscientists, technologists, and philosophers to offer a uniquely deep and intimate look at what women experience during online abuse, as well as how they cope and make meaning out of violence.
Dastagir weaves together her story with those of thirteen other women, including a comedian who uses feminist humor to subvert her harassment and an ob-gyn who channels anger over her abuse to fight attacks on reproductive rights. Dastagir explores why language online cannot be ignored, how it damages bodies, when it triggers and traumatizes, and why women’s responses are so varied. Dastagir analyzes why online abuse is perpetrated by people across the ideological spectrum and how it intersects with the dangers of disinformation. She argues that while online abuse is often framed exclusively as a problem of misogyny, it is also connected to a culture of white supremacy and the systems with which it intertwines.
To Those Who Have Confused You to Be a Person is the book on online abuse for this cultural moment, when being online is a daily necessity for so many, even as we grow ever more polarized. Systemic solutions are key to combating violence online, but the narrative of reform does not help women today. This nuanced examination of what it means to effectively cope will empower women to raise their voices against the forces bent on silencing them.
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4.5 ★★★★★
Based on 17 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 3
Good points, but too verbose and in the clouds at times.
Format: Kindle
This book has great points and analysis of trends, and a sensible outlook of what they might lead to. If you already understand the main ideas in this book, it's a good refresher and will solidify your current understanding, but may not really lead to any new "mindblowing" revelations. At times, his head is too in the clouds, and his age shows with predictions that read like bad 1960s sci-fi with things like "computorium" "gray goo" and "nanobots". While his overall points stand strong, some specific technologies he thinks will take off don't seem to have any basis or proof of concept in the real world and might be dead in the water, think "solar freakin roadways" style. He is also very full of himself, repeatedly gloating to the reader of all the "predictions" he made over the years that came true. The biggest weakness of this book is by god does he need an editor, it is way too verbose because the information is not organized well and he repeats himself A LOT. The chapters read like independent blog posts rather than a book due to how repetitive some of his points and information is. Often factoids and paragraphs are bizarrely repeated nearly verbatim pages later. But overall, it's a solid read and those uninitiated to the ideas in this book should absolutely heed their importance.
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Reviewed in the United States on January 10, 2025
★★★★★ 5
Ray at best
Format: Hardcover
Great ai know how
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Reviewed in the United States on May 20, 2026
★★★★★ 4
Audiobook has TERRIBLE narrator; book is very techical
Format: Hardcover
So this is a fascinating book -- the author has an incredible depth and breadth of knowledge in a vast array of technical (and medical) subjects. Note this is a much more technical book than your typical science book intended for the educated layperson. That's a big plus for me, but others might be put off by the level of detail.
The main fault with the book is the audiobook's narrator, Adam Barr. He has a deep voice that is easy to understand, but he is just about as dull as can be, sounding as if he's reading the ingredients on a can of soup. I ended up buying the hardcover version of the book because the audiobook could not hold my attention -- because of the narrator, not because of the content, which is amazing.
I wish more narrators would take a page (ha ha) from talented pros such as Ray Porter and Wil Wheaton. Just because this book is nonfiction doesn't mean it can't be read with heart, as if the reader was speaking to me personally, with enthusiasm, and not just reading words out loud.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 24, 2024
★★★★★ 5
The Final Warning
Format: Kindle
No more heads up after this one guys. Ray is not known for missing futurological insights. He’s placed many predictions within this work and it’s my belief that they will occur even sooner than he imagines. That said, the time for comfort with our current way of living is over, and this book functions as the last glance of insight to carry you through with knowledge of what could be. Without it, you are very likely to be entirely blindsighted.
The world is changing much faster than the vast majority of people realize. Even those paying close attention to technology. Learn what you can do you can prepare. This book is likely the best way to get ahead of the curve, and adds many new concepts and refinement than the first in the series
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Reviewed in the United States on December 24, 2024
★★★★★ 5
Superior purchase
Format: Hardcover
Book was in better condition than was advertised. Book was delivered earlier than expected. Book was packaged very very well. Excellent transaction and experience!! Will look forward to purchasing items from this seller in the future! Added bonus-reading the book was a great and thought provoking experience.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 9, 2025
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