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Description
Swamp Monster Green Scaly Silicone DildoThe Swamp Monster With a Hard On Key Features Fantasy Dildo: The long, scaly, ribbed shaft of this curved dildo is for those who like the deep, wet swamplands of fairytale and lore. With its pink head, wide, flat base and glass eyes you'll be indulging in wild fantasies only few have known! Suction Cup Base: Enjoy the wide, suction cup base of this dildo. Simply press firmly on any flat surface and enjoy riding it hands free! Harness Compatible: The
The Swamp Monster With a Hard-On
Key Features
- Fantasy Dildo: The long, scaly, ribbed shaft of this curved dildo is for those who like the deep, wet swamplands of fairytale and lore. With its pink head, wide, flat base and glass eyes you'll be indulging in wild fantasies only few have known!
- Suction Cup Base: Enjoy the wide, suction cup base of this dildo. Simply press firmly on any flat surface and enjoy riding it hands-free!
- Harness Compatible: The wide, flanged base is compatible with most strap-on harnesses so you or a partner can wear the dildo and bring the fantasy fully to life!
- Premium Silicone: Made of body-safe, phthalate-free, premium silicone.
On a hot and balmy day, you've decided to explore more on this surprise vacation to the Everglades. Fanning yourself, the heat is as heavy as a blanket and you seek some shade in the late afternoon. For miles the winding, wet swamplands stretch out and you sit at the edge of it on the moist earth under a tree. The sun hangs low in the sky, yet it's still warm, so you strip down and wade into the water. The cool water freshens and cools you. You feel so relaxed you lose track of time. Suddenly there's a moment in the water and as you look around, you see the two glassy, black eyes of something watching you. Your breath catches in your throat, fight or flight activated, yet you stay perfectly still. As you finally turn to start moving out of the water, a scaly, wet hand grabs your thigh. You freeze, terrified, but your terror turns to confusion and arousal as the hand begins to slide up between your thighs and stimulate you! As you look down, you see the pink tipped, scaly, green rod begin to emerge from the water. It surfaces, twitching, firm and excited; two glassy black eyes look up at you and the hands pull you down over the shaft. It parts you and you find yourself being moved up and down and it feels so good that it surprises you. Your moans are barely heard over the wild waters, and you begin to feel hot for an entirely different reason! As you reach climax, the monster releases you, thick, white slime trailing between your thighs. You walk out of the water and to the shore again, only the Everglades knowing your mysterious secret.
Swamp Monster Green Scaly Silicone Dildo Specs:
Measurements: Overall length: 9.4 inches. Insertable length: 7 inches. Narrowest insertable diameter: 1.4 inches. Widest insertable diameter: 2 inches.Materials: Silicone, glass
Color: Green
Note: Do not use with any silicone products; use only with water-based lubricants for best results.
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4.8 ★★★★★
Based on 12 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Profoundly challenging; I'm going back to this over and over
Format: Paperback
The remarkable growth of the early church has puzzled and challenged scholars. How did a tiny sect that attracted mainly the poor and unimportant and faced waves of persecution grow? How did they sustain their vigor and their distinctiveness such that well into the third century they were still well known for their non violence and care of the poor and downtrodden? Why did the church make baptism and membership so difficult? I've never found satisfactory answers. Kreider's exhaustively researched book did more than answer those questions. It stirred and challenged my thinking about how to "do church."
He argues, with compelling evidence, that a central conviction by the early Christians had much to do with their sustained vitality. They centered on the teachings of Jesus, in particular the sermon on the mount. They actually believed they were to live in obedience to the upside down Way of Jesus. It was this distinctive and intriguing lifestyle - Kreider uses the term "habitus" or their habitual behavior - that the church insisted upon and that attracted others. They patiently lived in community, expecting that over time, the impact of the light of their lives would "bubble up" or ferment in the lives of their neighbors.
So, rather than emphasize evangelism, the early Christians emphasized catechesis - careful formation and teaching. Only after a lengthy period of time - up to three years! - during which the prospective member was mentored and drilled in the life of Christ, was the person allowed to be baptized and take the Lord's Supper. They had to demonstrate, prove, that they were indeed genuinely living the life of Christ. Caring for the poor, sharing their resources, returning good for evil, turning the other cheek - those things had to be demonstrably evident.
Kreider ends by contrasting this patient habitus with the changing focus after Constantine. His examination of Augustine's redefinition of faithful Christian living that provided a way for Christians to both claim allegiance to Jesus' teachings yet use force and violence was both incisive and deeply saddening.
These days, most followers of Jesus do a better job of rationalizing why they can't take the Sermon on the Mount as more than platitudes. This book further challenges me, and I hope, the church at large, to actually live like Jesus! What a novel idea.
There are just a handful of books that have deeply influenced me, books that I find myself returning to again and again. The Patient Ferment is one of those books now. I hope this book becomes widely read, and even more, widely influential. May it disturb our comfort...
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Reviewed in the United States on May 8, 2017
★★★★★ 4
Insightful, balanced and thoroughly researched
Format: Kindle
I was a bit afraid that this book would somehow a attribute of the early church, postulate it as a silver bullet and then suggest it simplictically as the only solution for the modern day church. Instead I got a well balanced, finely nuanced and engagingly told narrative of the early church and the role patience was practiced, neglected and rethought by various Christian groups and bishops. The book end with an adequate invitation to think the concepts through for our own time.
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Reviewed in the United States on January 11, 2018
★★★★★ 5
Excellent
Format: Paperback
I might be as bold to say this is my favorite book on Christianity I have read to date.
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Reviewed in the United States on October 2, 2025
★★★★★ 5
Patience and Christianity
Format: Kindle
Short review: buy it
Long review:
It is incredible the simplicity of the Christians praxis in its origins, and how Saint Augustine and then Luther totally misunderstood these origins.
I can’t give you all the thoughts about this book, but here a glimpse of some ideas:
- The forgiveness between Christians is still powerful mean to live in peace and in a productive way
- The peace kiss is now forgotten, but it was a very powerful practice that maintain unity in the communities
- Women in the church were extremely important, they helped with maintain the union and share information
- The first Christian didn’t think that mission was most important than behavior, and for good reasons: talk is cheap, actions are more important.
- The testimony was noting about believe, it was about behave as a Christian, you can only access the great teachings of the New Testament once you showed with your actions that you are worthy of that.
Incredible simple, I think that is difficult to destroy religion only with reason, because religions have nothing to do with theology, is about behavior and cooperation.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 17, 2020
★★★★★ 5
Almost Persuaded
Format: Kindle
Almost thou hast persuaded me to become a pacifist. Kreider presents an outstanding survey of the Christian emphasis on patience in the first four centuries of the church. I am rethinking everything. Loved this book.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 27, 2023
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